Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
you would pick up someone in the library
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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