I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize