go do what you do best...puke behind churches
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Randomize
