I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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