I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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