I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
