Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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