I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
