My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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