dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
