that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
