I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
