I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
