I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
