people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
