We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
