All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
