Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
