ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Even my vagina gasped.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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