His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
