I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize