Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
