you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
