now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
