Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
