Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize