You just made me feel so damn special
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
