Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
