oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
