too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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