I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
