Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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