I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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