I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
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