i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
