i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
