The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
