On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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