I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
