i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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