I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
