Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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