The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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