i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
