Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
