I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Edward fifth and chaser hands
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
