party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
be right there i have to get my cape
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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