o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Your cock deserves a montage
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
