If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
