should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Randomize
