I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
