my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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