I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I will be naked everywhere
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
