I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
