what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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