I think I am morally bankrupt
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
