Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
