You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
