just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
