I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
