i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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