I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
