Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Randomize
