dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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