He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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