haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
