Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
3pm strippers are depressing
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Randomize
