You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
