I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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