So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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