If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
