Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
