The maid of honor just puked.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
