I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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