i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
