This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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