I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
