News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
