Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
