Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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