Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
She told me I should be a condom model.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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