I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
